Each year that passes by I think about what I want to accomplish through out the year and sometimes it's pretty hard to think about the Goals I want to achieve. Recently I have been thinking about goals to change myself and to live my life in a healthy way because I haven't been doing good things in my life that I'm too proud of and I want to be happy and most importantly, make my family happy and proud of me.
It's been a struggle for me to make a change in my life and to do the things that my program asks me to do. I've been trying for the whole year and some months that I've been in the program to change but sometimes I just think about the year that I've been in the program and I just feel like change isn't in me. I admit, I'm still doing the same things that got me in the trouble in the first place, but I also admit that I am doing way better according to academics. I'm still the same Bryan but a Bryan with some goals in his life.
#1 Better my relationship with my mom.
I love my mom, I mean who doesn't? My mom has always been there for me through hell and back. All these times that I've been struggling going to programs to programs and Detention, she has always been there no matter if her schedule was busy. Every time that I thought she was at the point that she didn't wanted to deal with me because I wouldn't change and kept doing the same things that got me in trouble she would always squeeze the last drop of hope and faith and feed it to me. Me and my mom really didn't have the best relationship when I was growing up just because I would always be roaming the streets and sometimes won't even come home to sleep under the roof she was providing me. She would always worry about me and every time I would talk to her she would try to tell me advice and but I didn't really listen. That's why I want to better my relationship with my mom. She means the world to me so the best way to show her that I do is to better my relationship, show her that I appreciate what she has done for me, and most importantly that I love her.
#2 Staying sober.
I admit, I really can't stop smoking weed and at some point I think that I told myself that I loved weed and I would never stop smoking it. I am a pretty selfish guy to be honest. What ever I want I will get it no matter what I will try my hardest to get my hands on my craving. But now that I got my head a little clearer now, I am ashamed of myself because after the few years that I'm been in the system I noticed that I'm not the only one that's suffering, my loved ones are also with me suffering. I could have stopped my bad habits long time ago but I was too selfish to do so. But now, to this day, I have doing good just for my family's sake and to make my mom proud of me. To show her that I'm trying to change and live my life in a healthy way physically and mentally. To show her that I want something in life and my future.
#3 stay in school
School has been a real struggle in my life to be honest. I hated school when ever since I started the 7th grade. I hated all the classes that I had, the teachers, and the real struggle waking up and actually stepping in to school. I had a lot of friends during that time and it would just be hard for me to actually tell myself to go to class and do the work. I wouldn't go to class because every time I would be with my friends there would always be something to do and I would fall into peer pressure. School was the thing that I would not look into that much but I knew I was doing something bad but at that time I didn't really think about it and didn't think about the consequences that I would suffer in the future. I would always tell myself that I will make up the work the next day but then again, I fell in peer pressure.
Ever since I got in the system I started getting credits and started going to school because I had to go to school and do good so I guess I can thank the system for that.
#4 catch up on my credits
I have been trying so hard to graduate. I don't really care how long it takes for me to graduate as long as I just walk through that line with other graduates or even just mainly graduate. I've Been working so hard to catch up on these credits that I have and I've been striving to do the work I had to do to earn the credits. I just can't wait till that day comes.
#5 live independently
I have been growing up under the "roof" of the system and the eyes of them too. Now that I'm a little older now and have some what of being independent. I think that I am ready to take it to the next step and live independent. I think it will be good for me because I feel I need to take on responsibilities now that I'm growing up and starting to grow up as a man.
I feel like if I take on responsibilities It will make me stay out of trouble. It will also give me some motivation once I start working and getting my own money.
2 comments:
I also couldn't stop smoking. And hated going to class. But I always maid myself. And that's what you have to do to stay good.
Bryan. This was absolutely one of the best essays I've read so far. You're a very talented writer, and you have beautiful and admirable goals. This was well thought out and relatable.
Your mom goal was my favorite because I can relate to it. I'd stay out late and sometimes sleep at a friends or boyfriends house instead of going home. My mom was worried constantly and couldn't make me stop.
I was not going to school either, that made her frustrated and hurt, nothing she did helped me. That's mostly what got me in the system.
I absolutely understand how you want to repair all the damage between you and your mom. Good job. But you have to want it sooooo bad. You have to understand where she was coming from, but I think you already understand. The most important part is you can't be angry at her, or the system or anyone else. Sometimes not even yourself. You have to except what is and make the best of it, that shows you care and people good come into your life.
Overall I think you did an amazing job on this essay,
Post a Comment