If I could change the world I would get rid of every incurable illness (including chronic illnesses), even and odd numbers, and locks. My reasons may sound strange, but I have evidence to back me up.
14 years. 14 years I have struggled with a variety of chronic illnesses. I see so many who suffer and I have empathy for them. I know what it's like To wake up in the morning and want to fall back asleep, but fail because the pain that fills your body is too much to allow you to sleep. Even with strong sleep medicines, no success is found. I understand the thoughts that come as you round another year, but it's not another year. You lose track of the last time you were pain free. All you know is your life with pain. It has become you. It defines you. If you let it.
Even and odd numbers. Why do we have them? Why not just numbers? I have to have the tv or radio volume on an even number. Before I go to sleep I have to see an even number. If I miss it, I have to wait until the next comes around, and if I miss that or accidentally look and see an odd number, I have to wait again. This process takes up a good amount of time, and that time gives my mind the freedom to race and think thoughts I'd rather not. The type of thoughts that keep you up even longer. The thoughts that control your dreams. The thoughts that become nightmares and cause you to wake up with blood beneath your nails because you were trapped in a dream and could only do the actions you were doing within the dream. Now you have scars that will never leave you all because of the wretched even and odd numbers!
Why have a lock? We humans always forget to lock our doors, safes, and anything that protects something of value. Even that which lies within a home, whether breathing or inanimate. What's the point of having a lock if you forget to lock the main door because it's hot inside and you need some fresh air. Why even have the lock in the first place if it has no part in protecting you from brutality, from a man you've never seen. A man that beats you after you get your brother out of the house until everything you hold dear goes black. Locks are pointless. Why have them if we forget to use them anyway.
Chronic illnesses, even and odd numbers, and locks are not necessary though it's not those things I really hate. I hate suffering, ptsd and nightmares, and traumatic experiences. But the cold truth is that we learn from all of these things. Each thing we suffer or go through, can be a stepping stone to making us an even greater person than we were the day before. IF we let them.
7 comments:
I agree wholeheartedly that the world could do well without chronic illnesses. People would be so much happier. I believe that there would be less pain, both physical as well as emotional and mental. You see, people who have chronic illnesses, it's not only them that suffer. The families suffer, the friends suffer, God suffers... I believe God suffers when we do. Feel His peace.
I agree wholeheartedly that the world could do well without chronic illnesses. People would be so much happier. I believe that there would be less pain, both physical as well as emotional and mental. You see, people who have chronic illnesses, it's not only them that suffer. The families suffer, the friends suffer, God suffers... I believe God suffers when we do. Feel His peace.
I never even knew you were feeling so much pain until now. I'm really sorry I wish there was something I could do to help you because I know it must be hard.
I never knew about the pain you were feeling. I'm in awe how sweet, positive, and the good friend that you've been to me. If there's anything I can do don't hesitate to ask.
I agree with Michael, not only do you get by and survive with this chronic pain but also you also are such a positive wonderful person, your kind to everyone and are so befreinding to all those with whom you interact. I'm sorry about the even and odd numbers thing— I can relate because if I try to fall asleep without seeing my picture of Jesus I can not fall asleep.
I agree with your reasoning for wanting to get rid of chronic illnesses and whatnots. I respectfully disagree about getting rid of locks. Locks give me a sense of security and it reassures me that no one can get in. It helps me when I want to be left alone. I really like your writing style and I hope that you persevere through all the heartache and pain that bad memories usually bring.
Like all your others,beautiful! I felt a real emotional relation to this. Often locks are forgotten to be locked and odd and even numbers add just a little more struggle into our lives. With the pain, I also agree. I myself have not struggled with it but I have had family members and friends sunder with it. The pain I've seen them in is devastating and I'd wish it fine if I had the choice.
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