5 Goals

I'm really working hard on trying to better myself in my life and set goals because of how rough of a life I have had up until this point so that I can overcome my various struggles. Something you may not know about me, I have been in state's custody since I was twelve, and now I am almost eighteen. It has been a little over five years in three different programs, and I'm trying to do what I need to do to get home, and live my life to the best of my abilities— but in order to do so I really need to set and achieve some personal goals, such as the ones I will list down below.

My first goal is to to graduate high school a year early. In order to do this, I will set the following sub goals. Get a 3.5 GPA or better the rest of the year, have no grades lower than an B- or at the very lowest an C+ grade average, and make up all missed work ASAP before its too late.

My second goal is that of in my program leveling up to a high enough level to where I can regularly go home on visits. In order to do this, I would need to out of 700 points a week earn at least 600 to 650 points so that it is showing that I am trying to implement all the change I have learned about the past few years of my physical therapeutic incarceration/my current mental & emotional damnation.  After how long I've been in state's custody, I find it hard to believe I will ever be set free again. It feels as if no matter what I do I'm still stuck because of too high expectations set upon me. I feel like the king Sisyphus, having to push a boulder up a hill just to have it roll back down the other side for eternity, and if I get tired or relax even a little bit, I will get smashed. In order to successfully, earn 600 to 650 points each week I would need to keep controlling my anger and frustrations,  better work on managing my carnal urges, and show self control and public and personal safety. I would also need to develop a sense of self worth.

My third goal is that of completing my current written therapy workbook. I am assigned by my therapist. In order to do this, I would need to spend at least one hour everyday to take the time to either type up or write my written therapy that is assigned for me to do as a minimum requirement in my program each day, in addition I would need to choose around twenty one extra minutes in the day to engage in this activity. I would also need to go over all the therapy I do each day with my therapist Rich in each of our sessions.

My next goal is that of returning to my home for good, to stay permanently.  In order to do this, I would need to do all the above things I have listed, but for a prolonged amount of time, let's say around three months, or a whole court review time.

  

My fifth and final goal is to once I am home and out of states custody I will go to college and graduate and get a career in underwater welding. In order to do this, I will need to accomplish all of the above. I also need to than apply for Weber State University or some other Utah college or university, become certified in welding, and scuba diving, and then apply for a job as an underwater welder. Than make $200,000 a year, save up and build by personal cruise yacht, save up from cruises I give, and then pay off the payment, make it my own personal ocean sailing yacht to be manned by everyone I have ever known in my life.

In conclusion to the various goals I have written within the above page, I will proceed to complete this assignment given to me by including in text the methods in which I will follow through with my above goals.

I will accomplish all of my above goals by either acquiring, or fortifying my personal strengths such as—A strong consistent overachieving work ethic, the virtue of patience, the value of self discipline and control, the personal internal/intrinsic motivations, and the art of humility, and the application and acceptance of personal character change. This is how I will successfully accomplish my various above goals. 

Do/Don't Essay

Survival:

Let me tell you about the ways how to stay sane, and functioning properly after being in group homes for a prolonged period of time. It's not easy. The two hardest things I did was get control of my anger, and set the goal of bettering my future and following through with it.

I don't mean to imply in the least that life in the group home environment is at all easy— it's not. But in a way after a while it tends to seem like it is easier, but in all actuality it is not the programs or treatment therapy that has gotten easier, it is the natural occurrence of most situations in life. An individual becomes acclimated to that specific situation, you start to actually apply within yourself the things you learn, while in the program.

In the mean time let me shed some light on the behavioral customs that should be integrated, and of those that should not be engaged in to survive the lifestyle of prolonged group home living and come out sane and emotionally stable.

DO: work on your written treatment therapy and give it legitimate, well thought through time and effort whenever an opportunity arises. I know from first hand experience that us teenagers tend to have "more important" things to do- but I have had the sage wisdom come unto me after five years in state's custody, and programs that my conclusion is that treatment therapy is pretty damn important, at least for me, because going home and being free is pretty damn important to me!

DON'T: fake it to make it, it doesn't work. I would know because it didn't work at my last two group homes, so Stop It, Because not only does it not work but never ever has it remotely worked at least not in the long-term success category. If one chooses this barren, desolate road, then relapse is inevitable.

DO: Emotionally, mentally, and physically hit the refresh button inside of you when going from one situation into another totally different situation. Relax and start new. Put the previous situation in its own file in the back of your mind. Deal with it when the need arises, and focus your efforts on the current situation at hand, as if it's a brand new day, aside of any previous thoughts and emotions. Thus compartmentalizing occurs. For example- if I were to be struggling at my current placement; program, proctor, independent living, etc, and we're feeling any self-incriminating emotions that were hostile, hurtful, depressing, etc, once I go to school and are around different people, and in a new situation. I keep my placement feelings chained firmly to my placement- and my emotions and attitudes are refreshed and ready on a new clean slate for the school environment, and the people with whom I interact and associate with in that particular environment. Once I'm back in my current placement environment I readdress the emotions and environment accordingly.

DONT: Keep going on doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results. For this is the definition of insanity. If you keep doing this it will make it so much harder to make any progress in the current placement your in, and it decreases any chance of you successfully completing that placement. It also increased your relapse risk assessment, then you will be deemed even more risky to not only yourself but to those around you.

DO: Be rational. Act on logic. Seriously think through the situation and the possible outcomes of the situation, but...

DONT: At the same time, not allow yourself to experience the emotions that come with the situation. It's perfectly fine to go through the emotions—long as you then choose to express them in an non-confrontational, appropriate, logically-rational mannerism.

But whatever you DO: keep on giving it your best. Don't shoot for the ten yard line, but instead the end zone. Do all the things above and success is inevitable. Follow the words of my good buddy Joe Dirt, "just keep on keeping on!"

Also try your best to keep up a positive attitude and good self-morale, by looking to the following quote as a guide, "Two men looking out of jail bars, one sees the mud, the other sees the stars." TRY TO SEE THE STARS!

If I Could Change the World

if I could change the world I'd get rid of #1.Drugs- specifically heroine, tobacco, alcohol, and marijuana, #2. Guns, #3. Pornography.

I would get rid of the above drugs because those were the drugs my mom was on while I was still inside of her, and that both her and my dad were addicted to that lead my mom to be in and out of jails, and the next two things...

I would get rid of guns, because my dad when addicted to the above drugs mainly heroine; armed robbed a bank, and got sent to prison for almost seven years.

I would get rid of pornography because of the nature of it, and the fact that in porn it is only about male dominance over women, demeaning females, and all sort of weird sexual perversions. Pornography is just a devilish means of a way for an individual to indulge and delve into their most sickest fantasies, and more than likely end up losing control.

AND IT TENDS TO BE QUITE ADDICTIVE!!! 

My Favorite Mistake

I am about to introduce you my fellow reader into a short story of a section of my life. In this story there will be a lesson I had to learn. And I learned it the natural way, the hard way. The natural way is the hard way because it's a lot harder to learn things through trial and error, that be forewarned, or gently reprimanded by someone who cares. 

It all started, one day while I and my grandparents, cousin, and uncle went to either Disneyland or Lagoon theme park,and I was eight or nine years old. It was a family get together. And an early birthday surprise.

We got on one of the rides that spins you right round, right round, and upside down and all over the place. Before I got on the ride I kind of noticed my shoe was a little loose, but decided to ignore it and got ride the ride. 

While I was on the ride my shoe flew off my foot and clubbed the man on the other arm of the same ride, right behind me. I burst out laughing until I saw my shoe fall to the ground and almost bean a women on the ground below. I saw her pick it up, shrug, and throw it in the waste bin next to her. 

Once I got off the ride I went down to the trash can and searched but my shoe was filled with puke and garbage. My uncle said, "It's just karma, and rightful learned poor mojo— natural consequences."  What he meant by this at the time,was that if I had only took the time to tie my shoe I would have still had a shoe because it wouldn't have flew off my foot.

I had that day learned a valuable lesson. That laziness, doesn't just affect the lazy person, but those around them, with whom they interact. I also learned  to pay attention and don't always allow yourself to get caught up In the moment—use consequential thinking! You won't always have people telling you that things will end badly— sometimes you'll just have to find it out the hard way, the natural way... trial & error!

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