5 Goals

Here is five goals that I am going to work towards in the new year. These are my personal goals. Goals are good to keep me going because then I have something to look forward to. Having goals of my own is nice not the programs, not the therapist,no ones but mine.

Being a better sister: I have failed completely on being there for my little brother and I want to be his hero.  I use to raise him and now he won't even tell me what's wrong when he's sad. I always tell myself that I'm going to make him happy but every time I get around him I'm crul and I'm not a good sister.  When we got older were going to be all that each other have and I want him to know that I'm her for him. I want to have a good and strong relationship with my brother!

Making my grandma proud: I am very good at letting my gma down. I always promise her that I'm gonna do good and get away from drugs but that never happens. I have broken so many promises to her and all she's ever done is want what's actually best for me. She has thought me everything that I know. I have a goal that before she goes to make her proud of me instead of ashamed. There is no way that I could pay her back for taking care of me and putting up with me but I could at least make her proud.

Getting really good at guitar: I am pretty good at playing what I know on the guitar but I want to get good at the stuff that I don't know . Every time that o learn something new lately I've just been giving up. But I wanna be really really good. I just don't wanna give up on the things that I think are too hard. So I'm going to keep playing even the stuff that's really hard.

Getting more sleep: I really need to start getting more sleep. I never get enough sleep ,never. Because of my program I always get home late and then have to do my chore,shower,get my clothes and every night I go to bed at like midnight or later. So I'm always tired . So one of my goals is to try to get to bed and not sit up and think so that am not always tired .      

Graduate early: I really am planning on graduating early. But in order to do that I have to get good grades and I'm not very good at that.  I guess I'm just gonna have to try harder to get all As . I really want to get a 4.0 before the end of the year as well. So I'm gonna have to work really hard to accomplish those but I willing to do it. This is a good goal for me to work towards.

Trends that Should Die with 2014

Six clothing trends that need to die from 2014

    It's a new year and I honestly think that 2014 had some sad clothing trends.  I mean all females dress the same. I feel the same with males.  The same styles are getting so old.  I know that we can be more creative.

Big tee shirts: Almost every male from age 12-25 wear shirts down to there knees and u might as well wear it to bed. I mean I know that they wear long shorts so that they can sag there pants. Girls don't find your extra large shirt on a size small guy attractive.

Baja hoodies: I really think that those hoodies are very ugly and look very itchy. In my opinion they make people look like hobos. They also make everyone who wears them look kinda chubby, even guys. I mean I'm not saying anything rude but there really ugly.

Poofy dresses: In 2014 I saw a lot of girls wearing poofy dresses and to be honest it just makes them look like little girls . They don't make you look good they actually make girls look I,e there going to a little kid Halloween party or something. So honesty they should go away. We're teenagers not two year olds.

Boot cut jeans: they are so old and girls still wear them. They really don't go with anything. They don't look good with normal shoes or even boots really because when you try to tuck them I. It just looks stupid. I honestly don't know how they lasted this long. But it's time for them to go. 

Purses for backpacks: Girls this is school not a fashion show. You don't have to be perfect. Just bring a backpack, I mean its school. And no backpacks are not out of style because everyone stopped using them, girls use purses and guys don't bring anything but a pen. Purses make girls look like stuck up old ladies. Purses a Make you look like your to girly for school this is not high school musical so just stop.

Shirts that get longer on the sides: those shirts were made for elementary girls . Then they started making them in bigger sizes so girls thought it wAs a good idea to start wearing them but no.

If I Could Change the World

If I could change the world I would get rid of airplanes, age of consent,and alcohol. I know that this list is weird but I have very good reasons.     

       The reason that I would get rid of airplanes is cause it's the way that my mom left me the first time. I remember my mom had packed her stuff in the middle of the night so that she could get out without having to deal with my tears. My grandma raced to the airport to try and catch her before she left,when we got there she was already gone.I have never really been able to block that all the way out.

I would get rid of the age of consent is because I lost the person I cared about most over this stupid law,the only guy that I ever really cared about he was my world,I loved him. He cared about me more than anything and I trusted him. But then he was placed in my program and they refused to let us be together because I was only thirteen and he was sixteen, then fourteen and seventeen. We broke the rules over and over again so that we could be together,after about a year of that they said that they were sending us both to group homes. They didn't that time, but a few times after that they sent him away and I haven't seen him since. It tore me apart . I will never let myself be that vulnerable again.He was my everything I would do anything to be with him again. I believed that hints would always be ok when I had him. I miss him so much we did everything for each other, he made me feel like I was irreplaceable and loved, but because of this stupid law I can't even know where he Is. This is why I would get rid of the age of consent law!

     Lat but not least I would sadly get rid of alcohol. I would get rid of alcohol because it has messed up me and my mother,it pulled her in when she was a teenager and it did the same thing to me and it sure did mess up things. Don't get me wrong I love having fun but I don't like having my family decide that I'm not worth it Because I would always come home late and drunk, practically a repeat of my mother and I don't want to follow in her footsteps.  

My Favorite Mistake

I was being takin away again, getting assault charges, and starting all over. I had wasted everything I had worked for, over some stupid girl. I had been in the system for over three years they just real eased me one month before I blew it.

                               

      Her name was Madison, she kept talking crap at school and flirting with my man. She honestly did anything she could just to piss me off. One day while I was eating lunch with my friends Madison started talking crap on me and my Family, no one talks bad to my family and gets away with it. 

      As the days past she just kept on saying things, until she pushed me way too far she told me that she was going to kill my little brother.... Seconds later I was on top of her pounding her face in, I blacked out and just kept beating her until I couldn't see her move anymore.

      Two days my caseworker showed up and told me to pack my things.... She was taking me again. I was so hurt to be torn from my family again. I learned that violence is not the answer but I had taught her a lesson and also showed all those who thought I could just be pushed around.

       I also know that deep inside I just wanted to show people that I could beat her ass,that I was more than they saw. My caseworker took me to Vantage Point and about a month later she found a home for me to go to. Two years later I am still in that house and on my way home hopefully soon. 

Twitter Memoir

A young girl waiting with high hopes for her mother. My heart was crushed by empty promises. I didn't deserve this I decided. Years later I can only count on myself.

Six Word Memoir

I was innocent, now I'm regretful.

Six Word Memoir

I change, but only for me.

Six Word Memoir

Was left behind, now I lead.